ICT!

Just finished my one week ICT. Very satisfied with it because i have made several new friends. Hopefully we can maintain our cohesiveness for the next 7 years. Something bad happened during the ICT..Anthony got into a serious freak accident which got his pinky severed... Life's like that...who will know that such an accident will happen when we all just wanna go in for a week and come out safely..sucks..

Haven posted any posts for a month already..was losing the momentum to record down bits and pieces of my life down here. Christmas is coming..birthday is coming.. but i have really little or none festive mood. This got to be the worst December of my life..well...15 more days to go..lets hope for surprises :)

Exile

I haven't blogged..for such a long time. Mostly because of my reluctance to record down this period of my life. yea..still jobless...and hopeless. Most of my friends have found a permanent job and i have been exiling myself from them. I am afraid of all those questioning and i'd just give myself false impressions and hopes all over again. The basic facilitator course at Focus adventure was a blast but from it i know that being a fulltime facilitator ain't easy and i doubt it's the right job for me. So i turned down the job offer...and wasted some more time again.. now i'll have to start again from scratch to get myself a FT job..

Friends around me have been very emotional of late. Its affecting me and my situation have worsen my mentality. Stopped meeting my uni friends for a month now...i dunno if i will lose them as friends if this goes on. This got to be the worst three months of my life. I hope it ends by December...

Finally..

Have been reluctant to document the past few weeks of my life as it didn't went very well for me. Well things are beginning to fall into place for me. Working temporary for a month at Connect Positronics (US MNC). Its a really dull job in an environment where the next youngest person is at least 10 years older than me. I only took it up because i need more pocket money (it pays well) whilst i continue my job hunt.

I am through to round two of interview at Focus Adventure. Will be joining their camp at the end of next month. 3 days at Bintan and 2 at Sentosa! It should be fun, there will be paintball, all terrain vehicle (ATV), water rafting, high element obstacles and some other team building activities in store for me. I don't know if this is the right career for me but i know its the right job. Well i guess i'll let fate decide for me and shall see how it goes during the camp.

I received a letter yesterday from ICA. My IC has been found! It's a miracle considering i have lost my wallet for three weeks already. At least the person who picked up my wallet have the heart to send my IC back to ICA. Well i am glad i didn't curse and swear at him when i lost it. Finally, my streak of bad luck seem to have gone by..(i hope) Glad i managed to pass through all of them..still surviving..Lets hope for better days to come! :)

The Bad Patch

Been going through a real bad patch these days....

1) got rejected by HCI for a really good job, a job i REALLY wanted...

2) received my results and attained a measly second lower grade...

3) got complained TWO weeks in a row by clients for not organising a fun session for them?!

What's next.....

Lost in Transition

Transition from a full time student to a full time working adult ain't going well for me so far. I have been unable to find a suitable job for myself. People always ask me..what kind of job are you looking for? What industry are you looking at? To be honest i do not really have a clue... but i know what i dun like. I hate working in a office environment in the finance field.. I hate working without a purpose.. I hate politics in the office.. sigh.. seems like i am quite picky.. lols.

Had an interview for a dream ( or should i say very very suitable) job last week. Its for the education programme officer post at HCI. I screwed up.. first of all, the weather was really unkind to me. It rained very heavily that morning and the jams didn't help. To top it all, i took a wrong bus and had to u-turn which made me late for my interview. Feedback was that i wasn't confident enough.. sigh. It was the right job for me. Stable pay, good vibes and environment, educating and the chance to influence/share my knowledge to students strongly appealed to me. But its not meant to be.. god please give me a sign..!

Went to watch the youth olympics soccer finals plus 3rd/4th placing today with holy and ken. It was quite a spectacle. Plenty of goals, playacting and fouls in both games. Singapore played really well and i was quite impressed with the level of skill they have. They defeated the Montenegro team four goals to one even tho almost all of them are at least a head shorter than them. It was like watching mens vs boys and the boys won. Great futures ahead for them! Bolivia were deserving gold medalists. They are in a league of their own - a different class above the rest. Some pictures from the game..

恋爱通告

Came to know of this movie while having lunch at cine one day. Didn't thought much of it till i saw the reviews in the papers comparing it to Jay Chou's 不能说的秘密. Lee Hom was the first new gen pop star that i really liked, so i figured i should go watch his movie. Its quite a bad movie actually, lame, cliche and uber cheesy. But some parts are pretty funny and i kinda enjoyed them. So overall it's still watchable, lee hom look great inside and yifei, angelic as usual. I like how they talk about lying on a green grass patch and looking at the stars, i have always loved that simple feeling.

敌人

我敌不过你的眼泪

你敌不过我的赞美

我敌不过你的妩媚

你也敌不过我偶然的慈悲

我敌不过你的放任

你敌不过我的深沉

我敌不过你的沐温

你也敌不过我飘忽的灵魂

我们是真心相爱的恋人

也是互相伤害的敌人

只是彼此不想承认

对口口声声说爱的人

会这样残忍

In love with Serene

Beginning to get the hang of serene and what i am learning finally. My interest level have shot up back again! haha. Need moreee trainingg....

Paintball + Go Karting

When mingqian brought up about this outing three weeks ago i didn't think it would materalise. But all thanks to mingqian's persistence and efforts we managed to make it happen. We booked a mini bus to follow us for the entire day. I really loved the ease of having a personal bus catered to us as it was really flexible - we can go anywhere we like and at anytime. It feels like a mini holiday for me and the bus is like my tour bus. All of us paid $90 each for the entire trip which includes $28 for transport, $15 for go kart, $19 for paintball and the rest for snacks and food. First stop was lunch at this famous bak kut teh stall. The food was quite nice and very filling. We then proceeded to purchase snacks and drinks for the later part of the day.

Second stop was go karting! The speed of the go karts here is like three times faster than the ones at escape theme park. One step on the accelerator and you will feel the swoosh and jerk forward. It was really exciting and fun but dangerous. i skidded at my first turn and many others actually crashed into the barriers. At the end of it you will feel your hands aching even tho it was only ten minutes because you will use alot of strength to hold on tight to the wheel especially during cornering.

Third stop was paintball! All of us except darren and daniel have not tried paintball before so it was quite an experience for us. At first we were really afraid of getting hit because we saw the multiple wounds on the players playing before us. Gradually we just began to heck care and ya..i got headshot twice. ouch. The price is really super cheap. $19 for 250 pellets whereas in singapore it costs $89.90 for the same amount of pellets. Rayth was the bravest one always trying to flank his opponents. He ended up with a injured knee due to a slip haha suay...

Fourth stop was sumptuous seafood dinner at a seafood restaurant! The seafood is damn cheap but we chose the wrong place...it ain't very fresh and tasty. After filling our stomachs we headed for our last stop at Huang Hou night market for some shopping and digesting our dinner. All in all it was a really fun day, some of the cs members couldn't make it, thus i am hoping one day we can all come out together and enjoy a holiday together. I hope.. Some pictures of the day~

Sad Day

People come and go..in your life. Best friends may not stay forever. I used to cherish friendships alot (and i still do just not as much), always willing to go the extra mile for my friends. Always the organiser of the group, always trying to keep the group together. But over the years i realised, i have too much friends..i can't afford to devote my time to each group.. and most importantly..and most disappointingly i am always taken for granted.. I don't mind bearing the brunt of the jokes on me but not all the time. Plus the fact that i am lazy by nature to contact people...i kind of lost some potential good friends along the way.. Thus i am thankful for having really good friends like Shuying, Levin and Anthony whom i do not need to try to keep and still be my good friend.

Today is a sad day because my best friend in combat and my fav movie kaki shuying has left for Japan to teach for a year. I really admire her courage to leave everything behind to go pursue what she wants in a foreign country. Thus, when she told me about it i was sad yet happy for her at the same time. She is my very good friend because we have a common goal in life. To live life like there's no tomorrow. To live, laugh and to love. I really wanted to send her off at the airport. But i felt awkward because i presume alot of people will be sending her and i don't really know her friends. I really hope everything goes well for her over there. I hope if she meets any problems there she would find me so that i can try to help her. sigh..there goes my movie kaki....now i gotta find another movie fanatic to watch movies and concerts together...

Shuu..be happy! :)

半年圆

Its 半年圆 tomorrow! Wow..time flies. We are in the middle of the year already. Not many people still follow the traditional customs of eating tang yuan on this day of the year anymore. I'm not sure myself if i will be following it myself in future. Thus i am recording this down in my blog for myself to remember when i look back. Watching ah ma making the tang yuans today makes me think back of my younger days where i would be super excited whenever this day comes. I would follow her and make some of my own special creations; A super big tang yuan or some weird weird figurines. She would still use this super old school metal plate to place the tang yuans and cook for us the next day. I hope for better health for her and we will have many more 半年圆 to come! :)

shopping spree~

Feeling abit loose on the purse strings recently and unknowingly went on a shopping spree. But are of them are real good deals. My manchester united jersey costs $72 only whereas outside is selling at $80-$99. My birks at $77 which is priced at $139 in the boutique. There's a 40% discount for my wallet thanks to Bryan :D and lastly..my new and nice watch costs me only $19! Next up...business wear...

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time - Janice Wong, ST, 31 Jan 2005

Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it
By Janice Wong

SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.

Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.

And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.

We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.

He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.

I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.

I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.

So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.

But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.

These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.

How many times has Mr/Ms Right come into your life, but at the wrong time?

如燕

Watched this brilliant show yesterday with my poly mates. Two words to describe this movie. Total "Mind Fuck!" There are so many possible interpretations of the story and so many question marks hanging on our heads when we leave the cinema. I guess it's the style of Christopher Nolan's films. He took ten years to write the script for this movie. Definitely the best movie i have watched this year for this genre. I don't remember if there is another film which was so mentally taxing. If you like it please go watch Memento as well by the same director. The way the story unfold is really marvelous.

Went for Olivia Ong's showcase at Temasek poly today with Robert and Weijie. We didn't expect to get seats near the front so we didn't bring our cameras along. BIG MISTAKE. We ended up seating at the 2nd row from the front with super GOOD view of her. She is tall, slender and really beautiful. You will be easily moved by her melodic and gentle voice. Its such a pleasure listening to her music. Listening to her live performance is akin to listening to her cd. She have a truly great voice. ahhhh i am smittened...

Video of her singing 如燕 acapella. Sorry about the tilted video..just listen to the voice. Wonderful.

loves

Some photos of the kids i work with at the weekend. They are really cute and never fails to brighten up my day! Don't worry i am not a pedophile i just happen to adore kids haha. Went to butter factory at night to celebrate tim's birthday. Damn high and its always fun to party with your friends. Haven clubbed much for a long time, and now there are even girls who approached and asked to join them for drinking at their table. So open!! zzzz Photos will be uploaded once charlize uploads them on facebook! :)

Journal Of Life

Something i felt really true and want to share with my friends as well. Extracted from http://bbreminisce.wordpress.com :)

Journal of Life ~ what makes a good relationship?

Whenever there’s a quarrel or argument between my friends and their partners, they would end up asking me this old fashion question of ‘What makes a good relationship?’

Most of the time, I just shrugged and said that I don’t really know.

‘You must be joking, you love your wife so much and you always give in a lot to her’
That’s what some general comments.
It would always end with ‘and you are spoiling her for all the goodness.’

“You are just looking one sided.” That’s what I always remind them.

There are many things which we won’t know in a relationship.

Every relationship has similarities and differences. One thing we know, a relationship begins with two persons with a common view but ends with one person having different views.

I treat my wife well not because I have to, it’s because I want to.
I spoilt her because of all the sacrifices that she made for me in order for us to be together.

It’s not easy for someone to travel and live in a foreign place so far away from her parents and relatives and had so little friends to count on when she needs the support.

I remembered there was once when we quarreled and she was so distress with herself. Not because of the quarrel but because there’s no other place for her to go to other than my room.

It’s not easy to suddenly move into my house and stayed with my parents and aunt. She had to endure their differences in personality, behavior and ways of living.

I sometimes asked my wife why are we together? I’m not handsome or rich. There are many things she longed and I can only owe her at this moment.

Perhaps it’s just plain simple, it’s because I treat her same ever since the day I know her. I would plan for all the major things in life and allow my shoulders for her to lie on.

I know couples who don’t talk much after their marriage. They would just lie down on their bed and kiss goodnight before turning their back to each other. I know couples who still behave like courtship and no one would know they already have kids.

Maybe the definition of a good relationship is just keeping the same feeling towards each other the moment you feel that he/she is the one for you. Not just having the same feeling but also showing the same affection and attention as the first moment the relationship started.

Remembering the times when the two of you went for a late night show and walked all the way home? Or waiting for her outside her office with a bunch of roses as she knocked off?

Being romantic is not asking you to do something that is done in the movies. To me, being romantic to your loved one is doing the things that you ever did for her/him and made her/him remembered until today.

It’s the littlest and simplest things which we think it is no longer needed to be done that spur a relationship to go on.

So what if you know each other for 20 years or married for 5 years?
Didn’t the two of you fell in love with each other because of the way you were treated?

Redo the things which you ever did for your love, she may find it a bit silly and perhaps she would tell you that it’s no need to.

Just tell her, “Honey, I haven’t changed since day one….”

This is Love, nothing strengthen a relationship like rekindling one.

Updates

Finally have a healthy sum of money in my bank account. Immediately went to get myself a new haircut at Shunji Matsuo today. The stylist chose this tut hairstyle for me. (i had this during SIM year 1) I am into the second week at work at CC Yeo Quantity Surveyors, really dull job but the people working there are really very very nice and easy to get along with. Alright what's after this? Proper primming and really kickstart my job hunt!

Toy Story

Watched toy story 3 in 3D today with my combat colleagues. It was such a wonderful movie which talks about friendship and loyalty. It really reminds me of my childhood memories, i used to playact with toys as well in the past. Michaelangelo was always my hero and captain planet the main villian haha! Checking back..toy story came out in 1995! A whopping 15 years ago! No wonder those toys don't really appeal to me. It was so long ago! I've already forgotten the story..only remembering.."fly like the wind! bulls eye!" I have also become a pixar convert due to yong da and shuying...pixar exhibition anyone? :)

Yea..Shuying actually brought the toy along to watch the movie

Kite flying!

A picture speaks a thousand words...

Wendy's doggie kite

Look at the beautiful sun rays

Lots of kites in the air

Our Spread. Homemade sandwiches, pasta salad and pizza!

Dark clouds but sunny at our side

The super huge octopus kite which never succeeded flying

CS - Friends Forever!

Went for my first ever kite flying experience at Marina Barrage on sunday with my cs mates. Many were amazed when they heard that i have never flown a kite before. Ken said that i don't have a childhood. zzz. It was quite an experience although i had rope burn in the process. The weather was perfect as it is neither sunny nor raining and the wind is the strongest in such situations. I love the skies and the company. Is it time to invest in a kite? hmmmmm....

First!

Finally conducted my first session yesterday with conducting pay after almost two years in the company. I love the job and always did my best because i love making people happy. Thats why i am really aggrieved and disappointed with my pay scale. Work loyalty..not really important here. Its the kids and the colleagues that's keeping me back. The kids today are from UWC, they are really lovable and full of energy. There's chinese, japanese, english, swiss, australians - people from all over the world. ahhhh i wanna make a caucasian baby too! hahahaha. Incurred the wrath of my mum yesterday when i reached home 10am in the morning. She was so upset that i stayed up to watch the world cup. Its detrimental to my health and she was on the verge of tears...lamenting how hard she try to cure me..sigh. Guess no more night out to watch world cup anymore. She's right - I am sacrificing my health now for money, soon when i am older, i will be using money to try buy back the health i sacrificed. You may say life is short, you want to enjoy it as much as possible. Its ok to think this way IF you are not planning to have a family. I do not want to be a burden to my future children. I do not want to be living off machines in the future. I want to die peacefully by my family. This serves as a reminder for myself and to my dear friends :)

端午节

Tomorrow is 端午节. Its one of the occasions i look forward to every year because i get to eat my grandma's delicious dumplings. The dumplings she make are those traditional ones tied using shredded leaves unlike those sold outside now with raffia strings. Those are really unhealthy as the colour from the raffia gets into the dumpling when being cooked at high temperatures. She used to make alot every year to give to her children, grandchildren and friends. I loved this aspect of her. Generosity. She is always very generous with her friends thats why she is always well liked by her friends, always being taken care of and receiving gifts. She was so kind that she took care of my god aunt when she was young so much that even till now, (she doesn't live with us and only see us once a year at chinese new year)- she still deposits $100 to her account every month. Shes been a great role model for me.

Unfortunately, this year i think age caught up with her..she couldn't afford to make so much dumplings already and the taste is also lost. Nevertheless, i still ate them with pleasure telling her how great it tastes. I was so upset that she kept on lamenting that she's old already, going to die already and her dumplings have no taste already.sigh. Its also at this point of time in the year when i will feel disgusted by my uncle. My grandma loves him so much, she is the traditional type who prefer boys over girls. He never gave her money before for ever since i can remember, never took care of her before, never visited or call her at all. He even owed my mum a few thousand dollars which my mum now considers as bad debt. However, she still always visits him and still carry huge plastic bags of dumplings to give him AT his place every year. She have to travel..all the way to zion road to see her son. Sometimes i feel she is really lucky to have my mum. Last week she fell down while on her way to visit him. *frowns. I really wonder when will he ever wake up.

Humans are like this. Always trying to long for those they couldn't get and neglect those they already have in their hands. My grandma is always longing for the son who refuses to repent. Me too, i'd always have a soft spot, for those i loved. I am starting to learn now, and constantly remind myself, to cherish the one before you. I love you grandma :)

End of Shows

Just finished my last(hopefully) stint as a promoter at the IT show. The people around me were mostly poly students...so i guess i am too old and slightly over qualified to work there anymore. I learnt alot working as a promoter all these years. I learnt lots of the bad habits of the chinese, indians and the malays. U gotta talk very loud and be as sthingy as possible towards the indians. Be prepared to be asked LOTS of questions and end up never buy your stuff from the chinese. And super cool malay customers whom..you need not talk much, they'll just buy it. hahaha!! memories..

Ahhh i am so tired from standing for more than 8 hours everyday for the past four days. I received another part time job offer from my mum's best friend. She owns a consultancy firm with her husband and their office are shifting. So i am supposed to help them do packing. $60 a day and 4 days per week for 3 weeks. I guess its good for me as i can still search for a full time job and go for interviews as it will be very flexible as promised by her. I'm hoping i can maybe get a job in that firm. *Fingers crossed. :)

Mixed Feelings

Passed my conducting finally..with 51 pax kids. I think i handled it pretty well, i guess i am more or less used to conducting already, but i'll still need to improve my speech (tend to jumble up my english). Hope i can upgrade my payscale soon. Went to butter factory for the first time after work with my CS mates. Saw lots of hos and young kids at the place haha i felt old. I was wondering why there are soooo many girls who wore heels to club? how to dance? Well my main purpose is to dance and relieve some stress. Then the worst thing happened to me. I lost my buddha pendant. Its been with me for the last five years..i dropped it whilst dancing...too high to notice until later on when i got out of the place. I'm super lost without it. My faith, my protector and my good luck charm for five years...Did it got lost trying to avert a disaster for me...?

The Heart

"It's impossible." said Pride. "It's risky." said
Experience. "It's pointless." said Reason. "Give it a try." whispered
the HEART.

3GF

So we finally kick-started our guitar lessons today after 3 months of wait. Had two big surprises when we stepped into the school. First of all, my supposedly red guitar was given away by Rin (our lesson coordinator) and i had to settle for a white one. Sigh...i loved the red one more. Next, we had a change of teacher! So instead of having Simin as our teacher, in came Nic as our guitar instructor. Oh wells, i was thinking it may be good for us as he is the director of the school and..he is lead singer of the local band Mi Lu Bing! I didn't have a good impression of him maybe because of his face (looks arrogant) but in fact he was really nice and patient with us. And yea...guitar is really not that easy afterall. My fingers are hurting from pressing the new strings on my guitar. Nonetheless, i am really hyped up for classes now. Looking forward to training with yizhou and yiffy.

This baby's name is Serene. I named it after Serendipity. Alright Serene, i am gonna play with you now! Please don't hurt my fingers! hahahaha