Happy 80 Ah Ma!!

Tomorrow is ah ma's 80th birthday. I am so glad she have reached this milestone in life. So sad that i cannot show her my future wife now or give her anything. So i've decided to give her this.



A big hongbao of gold coins. I have been keeping all these coins for seven years already. These are actually given to me by her every year on my birthday. She'd give me $20 in $1 coins every year. The naughty and mischievous me used to extort $1 from her everyday in the name of "bao hu fei" when i was in primary school. She loves me so much that she'd give in and gives me $1 every single day. So seven years ago, i decided to keep all of them. Now its her 80th birthday. So i figure its time to give her a BIG(literally) hongbao! Happy 80th Ah Ma!! :))

Cognitive Dissonance

Studying too much have got me going all theoretical these days. Today i'm gonna talk about cognitive dissonance. What is cognitive dissonance? The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours, or by justifying or rationalizing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. Ok that is the wikipedia definition, in layman terms, it means the tendency to change your mindset because you have already give in alot (be it monetary or feelings) in something. Take for example, you buy a pair of levi. Its just like any other jeans in the market. But u tell yourself you love it and its the best because you paid a bomb for it. I was made known to this term by my best friend Levin.

Why cognitive dissonance? Why has it got me thinking? Because i realised i have been experiencing it all my life. Take yesterday for example, i bought myself a new pair of seinnheiser earphones. It's expensive..at least to me. And the more i use it, the more i felt it was damn good even though its only ok, passable. The same goes for relationships. Long term relationships. You put in so much years of your life into this one, all the efforts, all the sacrifices for this girl. But in truth, is she the one? or its just cognitive dissonance playing your mind?

I have a few friends who just broke up from long-term relationships recently (one of them was eight years). And people around are going "omg" "they were together like forever" But hey i think they are doing the right thing. They are brave to end it and not waste other people's time/life any longer. That's the right thing to do. So in a nutshell, remember, enjoy the little things. :)

Soo Version 2

Experiences changes people. I used to believe in the fairy tales. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy give everything, girl loves boy...and they lived happily ever after yada yada. Maybe i watch too much drama. But i realised i have changed. Walls are built due to fear and insecurities and i have start to care less. I hate the "i" i am now. The "i" i am now start to care less about my close friends, "i" start to have a "can't be bothered" attitude and have become less nice to people in general. But the"self" can't help it. The "self" starts to get more confident about himself and enjoys the joy of pampering himself. The knowledge that "self" is safe from hurt is comforting. "self" is not that emotional like as before anymore. Consequences? Good friends start to drift a little and "i" is becoming distanced from people.

I had an epiphany today whilst chatting with tim during our study break. I realised how stupid i was in the past and i had a pretty good laugh at myself. Stupid stuff like rushing too fast into a relationship, not being sure that she is the one and start giving myself to her-making me vulnerable, acting emo when rejected-pushing away the girl in the process-ended up as strangers, strangers who could have been great friends.... The last which i hate the most. I'd not make the same mistakes again. I guess its a phase which every guy have to go through. To become a better person? That'd be the self-encouragement that i would give to myself. Ironic? I hate the "i" i am now yet i am telling "self" that i am a better person now. That's what so interesting about life. Its full of ironies and sometimes..its magical.

"Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"

Life.....

Just received news that my good friend's dad have passed on...it was so sudden. Life is so unpredictable and fragile. Sometimes it likes to play jokes on us.. We are supposed to meet up for dinner on the day it happened. A fall and just like that he is gone from us forever. :( Please treasure everyone around you..and live life like we're dying.

2nd Post

Here comes the 2nd post of the year. Have been busy playing around with my new phone. I love the intuitive applications and game my phone has to offer. Now i will not have to fret missing out on the newspapers as i can read them anytime on my phone. My sense of direction have gotten better with it as well..i hope. lols. I have officially started studying..something which i should have started doing a long time ago. I realise i have lots to catch up on..but the new phone's ain't helping..

I'll be heading off to KL tmr morning with my buddies. 8 of us on a road trip. Its been five years since we have gone on a road trip together. We will be heading to KL for shopping on the first day and to Genting the next day. It'll be my first time visiting a casino. Hope i have something to do there..and not gamble the whole time zzz i hate gambling!!

"Fear knocked at the door, Love answered to find no one there."

Happy New Year!

A decade have passed. I am turning 26 this year. OLD. and still useless... spent the new years counting down with my buddies at Miramar hotel. I have finally repaid all my debts to them as well. Starting anew in the new year. :) Kind of broke now..i realise i can't hang out much with them..cos their spending power is getting bigger and bigger while i am still just a student...not getting any allowances...and ended my part time stint with HCI...Guess its stay home weekends for me now till May.. sighhh bleak outlook moving into 2010..:(

New year's resolution. Try..to achieve a 2nd upper honors and to gain 10 kg. Help me achieve it!!