Soo Version 2

Experiences changes people. I used to believe in the fairy tales. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy give everything, girl loves boy...and they lived happily ever after yada yada. Maybe i watch too much drama. But i realised i have changed. Walls are built due to fear and insecurities and i have start to care less. I hate the "i" i am now. The "i" i am now start to care less about my close friends, "i" start to have a "can't be bothered" attitude and have become less nice to people in general. But the"self" can't help it. The "self" starts to get more confident about himself and enjoys the joy of pampering himself. The knowledge that "self" is safe from hurt is comforting. "self" is not that emotional like as before anymore. Consequences? Good friends start to drift a little and "i" is becoming distanced from people.

I had an epiphany today whilst chatting with tim during our study break. I realised how stupid i was in the past and i had a pretty good laugh at myself. Stupid stuff like rushing too fast into a relationship, not being sure that she is the one and start giving myself to her-making me vulnerable, acting emo when rejected-pushing away the girl in the process-ended up as strangers, strangers who could have been great friends.... The last which i hate the most. I'd not make the same mistakes again. I guess its a phase which every guy have to go through. To become a better person? That'd be the self-encouragement that i would give to myself. Ironic? I hate the "i" i am now yet i am telling "self" that i am a better person now. That's what so interesting about life. Its full of ironies and sometimes..its magical.

"Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"